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What You See Is (Almost) What You Get?

by on August 14, 2013

As a follow up to my recent post about social interactions in real life versus in game, a few more people got to see what I mean!

I’m pretty much a WYSIWYG person. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not either online or in real life. The way I see it, I’d rather you see who I really am and make your impressions/judgments that way rather than me make a fool out of myself trying to impress you. With that said, I like to think that the people I socialize with online are just the same and as much fun in person, with no real surprises. And for the most part, that’s pretty much what I’ve seen!

Back on New Year’s weekend in 2011 heading into 2012, I met someone that I had been playing the game with for years. His first impression of me was “you know you talk a lot of shit in game but you’re so quiet and shy here! WTF?” That was the first time I actually gave that a lot of thought. And I heard it again last weekend, when Cali and Brul came down to Boston, and Mavros was in town as well. We had a great time Friday night, 5 of us turned into 8 of us at one of the local bars. In addition to myself, Cali, Brul and Mav, we had 2 former WoW players among us (including Yanni) from our first guild (Dead Gnomes Float) and Bloodrooted (Taki) made the hour drive to rekindle his bromance with Mav in the flesh.

(they were like giggling schoolgirls going to the bathroom together and…..taking a very long time…..ahem)

So I’m nursing my mudslide, Yanni and Taki are being loud as usual and Mav yells across the table “Kimmy you’re so quiet!” And I’m thinking, where have I heard this before?? Whenever I’m around Yanni, he’s usually the one yapping and I just listen. It turned into a habit. I’m a pretty good listener! I was still having a blast. And I’m glad everyone else was too. It was nice to see the small WoW/MT meetup, and it’s definitely something we need to have more guildies involved in! One of these days we’ll plan a real guild meetup. (Blizzcon, anyone?)

I’ve always been this way. I get uncomfortable around large groups of people. It could be a form of social anxiety, I don’t know.  But I do know it has some kind of tie-in with my self-loathing. I can’t stand looking at myself, so my mind thinks that nobody else can stand looking at me either. So I just stay quiet and try not to be noticed. When I’m online, hiding behind my laptop, nobody is looking at me. They’re listening to me instead, and that’s where I’ve felt more comfortable letting my personality out. I’ve also been MUCH better at written communication than oral communication. And that’s why I’m so comfortable typing stuff out and being a forum ho.

(I may need professional help, but that’s another story!)

I like to think of this whole dynamic as two sides of the same person. What you see from me in game is me. My east coast personality, my attitude, my bossiness, that’s me. In the flesh, the shy introverted weirdo all dressed in black trying not to be noticed, that’s me too!

From → Miscellaneous

  1. Cali permalink

    You are quiet, but you’re listening and interacting in your own way. I’m kinda the same way…probably why we get along so well, in game and irl lol I had SO much fun that night. We have to do it again sometime soon! ❤

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